Samesies Alert—me and Lord Bryon not big on spoilers. like. ever. my big question is always “where?” only I say it in Spanish, Quid Pro Quo? I have this one weird habit I call “recess is for kids, gym class is for bullies, but I’m all extracurricular sports.” (I am writing a book called “I Am Building Character Buildings”) for example—Me and Lord Byron on the volleyball team = cherish memories and photo op in school newspaper, which is really just a newsletter they post on myspace like 20 years ago. I wanted so bad to be point guard and Lord Bryon wanted five! more! years! of Christopher Columbus (the director not the Italian “porn star”). Dream Big, Aim High, Get your ducks in line, but you really gotta stay put inasmuch reality as you can mayonaise. the world is a bundle.
Lord Byron always says honk if your Grandma got game. wink wink. One time we got sick on old ice pops (they food dye was made from water buffalo). I had no idea Princess Diana was star sign Gemini but when we went UFO lookout point we saw the northern lights in the shape of a can of compressed air and I had all these big questions about the universe (like where’s waldo now, you can’t hide forever, I will look under every hook line and sinker until I find your meth head on some skank mattress). Lord Bryon was still all wink wink and I said clean it up bro I got two kids here.
Newsies Alerts ::::: ) Winger performed “Hungry” on Arsenio last night (w/ guest Lord Bryon on BGV). Channing Tatum was a no show. sad face emojocon. Fast Fact: I was key grip on Forrest Gump but got fired when they found out I was color blind. They said what color is this Kleenex and I said I only see black and blue. Fast forward to me at the library hiding fortune cookies in VC Andrews. Librarian tell me what do you think your doing and I was like Did someone say laser eye surgery because I did not see that coming. Cue Lord Bryon bitching about his hamstrings.
I was in Lord Byron’s scrapbooking club and we made laughy crafty with old mop handles and postcards from the edge. It won first prize superhero award at Comicon. We used the money to buy AOL.com and turned it into a gambling site. go Red Sox. I played virtual slots and virtually lost the virtual shirt on my virtual back. You cannot keep your eyes open forever but you can walk the talk and talk the walk ad nausaum. A long walk off a expansion bridge. Trust me, I have terrible handwriting to show for it.
Both of Lord Byron’s daughters did modelling on the side. They were roommates in college. One of them now manages a Hobby Lobby in Cleveland. I haven’t heard from the other one.
Lord Byron’s lake. Supposedly there’s buried treasure somewhere. It used be really good fishing, but now it’s overrun with zebra mussels. There’s a popular water tubing derby in August. Fun fact: this is where Virginia Woolf drowned.
Lord Byron’s Factory. They made troll dolls there for a while, and then adult diapers during the Golden Girls fad; now it’s mostly empty except for a few Brony squatters and a family of raccoons.